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Former NBA player and psychologist John Amaechi says most people operate at about 70% effort—not because they’re lazy, but because they never learned how to keep going when things feel boring, hard, or slow.

He calls it “paying the FEE”: Focus, Effort, Execution. (Watch the clip)

🌱 This is Future-Ready Parents—where we turn parenting worries into small, practical wins that build confident, tech-savvy kids (and calm, capable parents).

What you’ll get today

A tool to help your child push through resistance—without power struggles.
You’ll learn a 3-word mindset model that helps kids name what’s hard and what to try next.

(Good for ages 10–14.)

Why this matters

Kids hit walls all the time—math worksheets, piano practice, sporting events/practices, even social situations with their friends. And a lot of them quit faster than we expect.

The usual assumption? Grit is a trait. You’ve either got it, or you don’t.

But research shows otherwise. By age 10, kids are already forming beliefs about what they’re “just bad at.” That belief often comes from how we talk about effort—and how they experience setbacks.

Here’s the real problem: most kids don’t know what productive effort feels like. They do the minimum. Coast until they hit friction. Then fold. Studies show student engagement drops sharply in middle school—only 45.7% of students report feeling connected to school work by age 13 (Gallup, 2021).

That’s not because they don’t care. It’s because they haven’t been shown what to do when something feels impossible.

That’s where today’s tool comes in. The FEE model—Focus, Effort, Execution—gives you a way to name what’s happening and redirect it.

The Tool: Teach the FEE Model (Focus, Effort, Execution)

Let’s set the scene:
You’re four minutes into a writing assignment. Your kid huffs, “This is stupid.”
They slump. The pencil drops. You feel the old tension creep in.

(This is quite the reality for many of us in the classroom, too.)

Instead of a pep talk or a “just do it,” try this tool.

🧠 FEE = Focus, Effort, Execution

Share this 3-part model with your child. Keep it simple. One idea at a time.

1. Focus – Can you block out distractions and lock in—even if it’s only for the next 10 minutes?
Example line: “Let’s just do 10 minutes, no switching tabs, no phone. Full brain on.”

2. Effort – This isn’t about how long you sit there. It’s about giving 100% while you’re in it.
Example line: “What would full effort look like right now? Not forever—just this part.”

3. Execution – Don’t just go through the motions. Do it well.
Example line: “Are you practicing the right way, or just trying to get it done?”

👂 Use this Check-In Prompt:

“Which part of FEE feels hardest right now—focus, effort, or execution?”

That question does two things:

• It shifts the energy away from blame

• It helps your child notice where they’re stuck—and name it

You’re not forcing grit. You’re making it visible. And that builds capability.

Unlock AI-powered productivity

HoneyBook is how independent businesses attract leads, manage clients, book meetings, sign contracts, and get paid.

Plus, HoneyBook’s AI tools summarize project details, generate email drafts, take meeting notes, predict high-value leads, and more.

Think of HoneyBook as your behind-the-scenes business partner—here to handle the admin work you need to do, so you can focus on the creative work you want to do.

Try HoneyBook for free

BEFORE YOU GO…

You don’t need to be the motivator, the coach, and the cheerleader all at once.
You just need a shared language—and a small move that builds clarity.

“Which part of FEE are you in right now?” is a good place to start.

Until next time,
James Brauer
Founder, Future-Ready Parents